Don't Pee On The Plane: Air Travel And Bad Behavior
French actor Gerard Depardieu recently got kicked off a flight for peeing in the isle after the attendants told him he had to wait 15 minutes to use the facilities. While this sounds hilareous, and it is, there are serious repercussions you will have to deal with if you get in trouble on a flight.
TLF has successfully defended people facing criminal charges for their behavior in flight. Here are some things you should remember and consider before boarding that next jet:
Listen to the people in the uniforms. If they tell you to sit then sit. If they tell you to stop then stop. These people have the power to accuse you of just about whatever they want. The laws are so broad that just annoying a flight attendent could lead you to a handcuffed welcome when you land.
Think about not drinking. As with all crimes, problems on planes almost always involve alcohol. You may think downing drinks a mile high is risk free but it's not. Think of it like this: drinking on a plane is like drinking in a cop bar and you are not a cop. Better to just order the Diet Coke and wait until you get there to party.
You simply do not want to ofend or anger a flight attendant. In this post-911 age their word is gold and the athorities are going to arrest first and ask questions second. TLF's last case involved a person charged with an array of offenses caused, in fact, by the telling of offensive jokes. The attendants did not like his sense of humor so they simply got him back by lying about what he did up in first class. The FBI was waiting upon arrival at LAX.
There are many different charges that can be leveled against a flight passenger who fails to cooperate, threatens or touches a flight crew attendant. In TLF's most recent case, the charges were the most minimal misdemeanor offense that could have resulted in a small fine and unsupervised probation. Nevertheless, the FBI agent was sitting in court for every single pre-trial hearing. They would not drop the case and so we had to prepare for trial. And remember: no one really knows what the criteria are and how one gets put on or taken off the dreaded "No Fly List". Simply getting arrested might be enough. A week before trial the charges were dropped in their entirety, a combination of TLF's rediness and the probable fact the flight crew could not make it to testify. It was another case of just being prepared to take it to trial was enough to win.
Just stay in your seat when the fasten seatbelt sign is lit, listen to those in charge and, if the worst does happen, call us and we can help.